The Mother Mae Eye Files
by Universalperson
Summary: Inspired by Mother Mae Eye. If they make sense, there is a problem. Site won't let me make hyphens.
1. Mother

**Disclaimer: NOTHING IS MINE!**

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Mother-Mae-Eye loved her children.

There they all were, feeding on their yummy magical pie.

It was almost a pity she had to bake them. Oh well, love doesn't come easy.

DING DONG!

Robin quickly got up.

"Sit down, little Robby-Wobby! Mother will get it."

The Boy Wonder smiled. "Thanks Mother. For everything."

"It's just what a mother does!" Chortled Mother-Mae-Eye as she proceeded to the front door.

She opened it, eyes closed. "I'm sorry, but all the kids are eating right now, and…"

"I don't think you have any say in the matter," hissed a feminine voice.

Mother-Mae-Eye opened her three eyes and looked at the five people at the front door.

The first was blond, blue-eyed woman, wearing a crimson circus costume. She stepped forward, the pink feather in her cap wavering. "The name is Mary Grayson."

The second woman was an African American, with a white coat, a green top, black hair, and glasses. "Elinore Stone."

The woman on the other end stepped forward. She was dressed like she was in the jungle. She had brown hair and blue eyes. "Marie Logan."

The next woman had alien green eyes and long read hair. She wore purple robes that were obviously royal. "Queen Luand'r."

The final woman is dressed in white hooded cloak. She pulled it off, revealing long black hair and indigo eyes. "Angela Roth."

Mary spoke. "We are the Titans mothers. Their _real _mothers."

"And you're taking our children away from us." Finished Elinore.

"For your sake," said Marie, "you will leave the Tower and turn our kids back to normal."

"Or else," said Luand'r, "We will be forced to _ge'tiah _you."

Mother-Mae-Eye blinked again, in shock. Then she lifted her head and laughed.

"You think a bunch of spirits will take me away from my new children? Oh no! Besides, they love me more than they could ever love you! After all you're all _dead_."

"Are you calling us bad mothers?"

Angela spoke calmly, quietly, but Mother-Mae-Eye realized she had said the wrong words.

In Angela's eyes, in all their eyes, glowed an intense anger.

"You know…" she murmured, "I think you are." The other four women nodded their assent.

Mother-Mae-Eye thought quickly, and fired a blast of pink magic from her spoon.

It went right through the mothers.

Now their faces showed their anger.

"**GET AWAY FROM OUR CHILDREN, YOU HAG!"**

They charged.

**T-T-T-T-T-T**

The Titans were eating pie when Mother's voice came ringing out through the whole Tower.

"ALL I WANTED WAS LOVE!"

It was answered by five feminine shrieks of pure, merciless anger.

Suddenly, the pie was gone. The Titans returned to normal. The hypnosis wore off…

"Dude..." murmured Beast Boy, "what just happened?"

"I remember pie," Starfire answered.

Cyborg was totally clueless.

Robin looked at Raven, who looked back.

"Someone was here." It was a statement.

Raven nodded her assent.

**T-T-T-T-T-T**

"So let me get this straight…she gave you a pie?"

"_**A pie containing an imprisoned witch. She put my daughter in a dress."**_

Slade was in the underground, speaking to Trigon's symbol.

"_Arella _put Raven in a dress?"

"_**No! The witch! And the Angela got the spirits of the Titans' other mothers, trapped her in the pie, and left it on my doorstep."**_

"I wish my dead wife could leave gifts," Slade muttered ruefully.

"**_Angela was not my _wife_! She is merely the mother of my child! And Adeline still wants you to rot."_**

"How ironic. So what are you going to do with it?"

"**_Maybe that's why I CALLED you? Speaking of which, you may want to shorten your visits with your friend Wintergreen-he's getting rather nauseated."_**

Slade grumbled. A demon lord with limited psychic powers could be a very difficult…_employer. _

"_**I heard that!"**_

"Yes…well…maybe you could make the witch your own personal Granny Goodness? You know, that old lady who works with Darkseid?"

"_**Hmm…think he'll mind?"**_

"He's in another planet. You're in another dimension. No, he won't even know."

"_**Yesssss...that would work quite well." **_

And the pie disappeared in a ball of flame.

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	2. Demon

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

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"Triggy-Wiggy!"

The demon lord in question stopped all motion at the sound of that voice. His four eyes began to twitch until he turned around. He greeted her with a forced smile. _**"Hello, Grandmother-Mae-Eye! What are you doing here?" **'Like I care…'_

"Oh, I'm just visiting my favorite grand-son!" Mae-Eye sang the sentence.

Trigon gave a low growl. **_"I'm your only grandson."_**

"I know! And you haven't talked to me since…" She stopped, noticing Slade. "Well, hello there! Who's your new servant, Triggy-Wiggy?"

He barely stifled a groan. **_"His name is Slade."_**

"Well," she huffed. "He certainly must be famished!" With a wave of her wand, a pie appeared in Slade's hand. She smiled sweetly. "Eat up!"

"**_Don't eat her pies. For all our sakes," _**Trigon murmured out of the corner of his mouth.

"Erm…" Slade stuttered. "No thank you, Miss Mae-Eye. I'm not hungry…and I don't think I'll be for a while…"

Mother-Mae-Eye put her hands on her hips. "Are you reviving dead corpses again?"

"**_Look, _grandmother_, why can't you just visit my daughter? She really needs to meet more of her family…"_**

"Oh yes…your daughter…did she have to be a _mortal's _child?"

"_**You know the blood of mortals can create extreme power when mixed with the blood of others!"**_

"Your father," Mae-Eye lectured, "had a half-mortal child. And despite his initial successes, said child quite literally can't seem to get anywhere. He'd be very angry at the job you've done, Trigon."

Trigon growled lowly.

"But…" Mae-Eye continued, "Family is family. I will go see her…and maybe her friends too!" She vanished in a puff of pink.

Slade dropped the pie, which immediately burned to pieces. "Your _grandmother?_"

"**_On my father's side." _**Trigon gave a remarkably human sigh. **_"She can just be so ANNOYING!"

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	3. Magic

**Diclaimer: Blah blah blah!

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See-More and Private HIVE laughed.

But Gizmo, Jinx, and Mammoth weren't laughing, their faces in total shock.

"Okay," said Mammoth, "who are you and what did you do with the Titans?"

"Dude," said pink-bunny Beast Boy, "we ARE the Titans?"

"Oh yeah?" said Gizmo. "Hey Rain-bot? What's the square root of two?"

"Err…" murmured Cyborg "Pie?"

Gizmo shook his head. "Yup. Something's wrong."

Jinx stared. "Raven would never wear a dress like that. Not even if you paid her."

"Don't be so hard on them Jinx!" Chuckled See-More.

Private HIVE was beside himself. "It's just that Teen Titans aren't quite teenagers anymore! Heh heh heh heh heh!"

Jinx turned on them. "That's it. The two of you are off the HIVE Five!"

"WHAT?"

"You heard the lady," said Mammoth as he cracked his knuckles. "You're both fired."

Meanwhile, Gizmo pushed on his control pad, firing out a large laser beam. The Titans vanished in the light.

"I teleported them home," said Gizmo. "Let's go see what's wrong with those poor buggers…"

The HIVE trio vanished.

See-More and Private HIVE looked at each other. "Man…" muttered the former.

"If the Headmaster were here, they would be dis-ci-plined severely!"

"And that's exactly what I'll do to you!"

The two of them turned to face the three-eyed greenness of Mother-Mae-Eye.

"WHERE ARE MY KIDS?" She screamed.

**T-T-T-T-T-T**

"So, why are you helping us?"

The Titans were with the HIVE trio, clothed normally, scratching their heads to make out the weirdness that happened to them.

"The way we see it," said Mammoth, "you'll owe us for saving your lives."

Jinx grinned. "Not that we expect you to go easier on us…"

"But if _we're _ever in a life-threatening situation, just remember who saved your cludge-headed lives!" Gizmo finished.

Cyborg looked at his arm. "I think she's coming."

The wall of the HIVE lair broke down as a furious Mother-Mae-Eye barged in.

"What are you doing here?" she screamed. "The five of you should have been home twenty minutes ago! You're all punished!"

Raven gave a low hiss. "You _aren't_ our mother."

"Well then maybe you should eat some more pie!"

She was about to wave her wand when a voice came out.

"There you are, mom!"

Appearing out of nowhere from the shadows was a blue skinned magician, with a top hat and mask. The Amazing Mumbo gave a relieved smile. "I've been looking all over for you!"

Mother-Mae-Eye groaned. "Not now, Mumbo dear! Mother-Mae-Eye's busy!"

"Mother, are you _still _trying to find the secret ingredient of love?"

"I have to! The future of all motherhood is at stake!"

The teens were all flabbergasted. "Dude…" said Beast Boy.

"Wait a minute," said Mammoth. "Mother-Mae-Eye is Mumbo's mom?"

The magician gave a sheepish grin. "Yeeeah. You see, she's getting quite old and hasn't been very well in the head lately." He grabbed her arm. "Now come on, mother. Let's take you back to the magical nursing home."

"But the love! And the pie!"

"They'll be plenty of both when you get back," Mumbo said soothingly. And then in a flash, they were both gone.

"Ooookay," said Jinx. "Now we need to find two more members…well there's always that new Red X guy."

"How about my sister?" asked Mammoth.

The stunned silence became even more stunned. And silent.

"What?"

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	4. Pie

**Disclaimer: Don't own anyone. These are people who work on the show, websites about the show, and fanfiction authors.

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Derrick Wyatt was busy drawing his latest character design.

He was thinking, however, on the crazy people on the Teen Titan websites he visits.

Suddenly, there was a noise behind him. He turned around, and almost had a heart attack.

Mother-Mae-Eye, the character, was standing right before him. "Pie!" she screamed, and stuck a spoon of it in Derrick's mouth.

His face went from shock to a happy daze. "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye…"

Glen Murakami and David Slack were busy talking over the next episode.

"It's the perfect way to bring Terra back! All we have to do is…"

He trailedoff upon viewing the warty face of Mother-Mae-Eye.

"Pie!" she screamed. A pair of scoops flew into their open mouths.

In unison, Murakami and Slack uttered "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye."

And from there she went to the other Teen Titans staff. Amy Wolfram? "Pie!" Ben Jones? "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." Rob Hoagee? Alex Soto? Michael Chang? Andrea Romano? "Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!"

Even the voice actors were not exempt.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." Scott Melville.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye!" Hynden Walch.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." Khary Payton.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." Tara Strong.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye!" Greg Cripes.

Even Ron Perlman couldn't save himself. "Pie!" "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye."

From there, she proceeded to the staff of a certain Teen Titans website. In Montana, an engaged couple, known online as ixnay and Potassium were surprised and then rendered docile by the appearance of Mother-Mae-Eye and the consumption of her pies, respectively. In San Francisco, Butho, an animation artist with little direction, suddenly stopped caring about his life...and instead only cared about pie. In the Netherlands, Forau was sent into a dreamlike state by a warty witch.

A famed fanfiction author relaxed at his computer, waiting for his OC to cut his head off. When he turned around though, he got a mouthful of food. "Pie!" she screamed.

The insane author gained a modicum of sanity. "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye."

She smiled, and then looked at the can of Dr. Pepper. "You shouldn't be drinking soda past your bedtime."

"Yes Mother-Mae-Eye."

With a wave, the can was annihilated. The she proceeded to other fanfiction authors.

"Pie!" That was BlackShield! "Pie!" That was Scribbler! "Pie!" That was Rose Eclipse! Author DarthNat always hated omnipotent super-villains, but Mother-Mae-Eye convinced him otherwise. He now loved all powerful creatures, especially if they made pie. Pandora and RavenStar, Fledging and Unbridled Joy of Flight, all of them forgot about their cares, and only thought of warm, delicious pie.

"Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." "Thank you Mother-Mae-Eye." Those were not fanfiction authors. Those were Marv Wolfman and George Perez. And from the creators of the New Teen Titans Mother-Mae-Eye spread to the whole world.

"Pie!" she screamed. "Pie! Pie!

**T-T-T-T-T-T**

"PIE!"

This author woke up from his sleep with that word.

His sister put her head up from her book and looked at him oddly.

This author shook his head. "Man," he murmured, "I have got to get more sleep."

The sister sighed and returned to her book.

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End file.
